What I’m reading

This satirical and tongue-in-cheek explanation of ethnicities is poignant, funny and mildly offensive.

Here’s an excerpt (talking about shortcomings of the American Indian):
”This lackluster record of achievement extends to other arenas as well. They hunted buffalo for centuries, but failed to kill them all.  It only took European settlers fifty years to take care of that.”

I’d be offended if I wasn’t so simple

 

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
  - Fran Lebowitz

Aruba, Jamaica, Frank’s a bit of a wanker

So. Did she actually have sex with both guys (would have been all three if Frank hadn’t excused himself)? I’m never one to judge someone’s amatory proclivities (nor am I in any position to), but the back-to-back thing seemed a little – icky.  If I was Roberto watching this episode at home tonight, I’d be thinking “thank God I had the first date.” 

Roberto was a sweaty yeti (pits,face, back, chest) his entire time in Tahiti.  This is exactly what I would have looked like if I were in his place.  He actually managed to keep his cool and look fairly smooth as he dripped like a BP oil leak – I think we can all agree that I would not do as well.  Their date seamed to go only so-so.  Though I guess it ended… happy? 

It’s really no surprise that the happy couples who leave the bachelor or bachelorette almost never make it in the “real world” (no finalist of a primetime reality show ever actually returns to the real real world).  Try to compare a weekend of sleeping on a pull-out couch at the in-laws with a torch lit private dinner on your very own island.  It’s a little like feeding your dog tenderloin everyday for two years; and then expecting it to suddenly be happy only eating dry dog food from Walmart.

I can’t tell if Chris is a simpleton or just nervous in front of the cameras; but he repeatedly utilizes the same monosyllabic adjectives (wow, cool, great, nice…).  Despite his fleeting vocabulary, I think Chris is a pretty cool guy and kind of a natural with girls.  The little interaction when he cut-off Ali and told her jokingly, “hey I’m reading this” was pretty smooth.  It was playful, dominant (in a fun way), and created anticipation for the moment.

I still think it was Frank’s contest to lose.  And, I think he was  foolish and cowardly for the decision he made.  Kind of an important lesson there: no matter how strong your connection with someone may be; it can be inexplicably trumped by someone’s history.  I believe this comes down to four reasons:
1. revisionist’s history. We tend to remember and obsess on the good moments and trivialize the bad ones.
2. investment. Time, emotional, financial (vacations, etc…), but mostly time.  Sometimes it’s hard to accept that we wasted so many months or years of our lives.
3. safety.  Going backwards is often the safest (seemingly) play.
4. comfort in the familiar. Throughout a relationship you build mutual friends, develop daily routines, have favorite restaurants and locales…  It can be scary to start all of this over with someone new.

Word of the day

Philogyny – a love of, or liking for women (opposite of misogyny)

Funny that most of us know what misogyny means, but even my spell checker doesn’t recognize the word philogyny. I’m just saying…

Good advice?

 

Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.
 

- Tallulah Bankhead

Bachelorette – The why this show is evil episode

One thing (several would argue the only thing) I was always good at was meeting the parents. Although dad’s should and occasionally do hate boys that are dating their daughters; I actually think the mother protective of son would be a lot scarier. So what Ali has to do four times this week is pretty brutal.

Side note: What the hell is the deal with Chris Harrison’s Liberace watch? Is he trying to become the next rap music mogul? Did he just rob 50 Cent at gun point?

The Families

Roberto:

I thought it was a little Al Bundy-like to show off his college glory days, though it did seem to go pretty well (she is such a great sport). Roberto’s father was pretty intense, but I think his interrogation actually may have helped Roberto’s cause. Forcing Ali to qualify herself creates a feeling of investment.

Chris:

I think Chris’s dad may have hurt his cause. I really got the overselling vibe from their conversation. Anytime someone tries too hard to sell you something, it makes you wonder what’s actually wrong with it.

Kirk:

I would have to REALLY like a girl for me to not be totally freaked out by her dad being a taxidermist. Despite his profession, half alive step mother, and porn star mustache, he seemed like a pretty good guy. His real mom kind of gave me the heevy jeevies though.

Frank:

It’s a weird situation with Frank, because the checkout-stand periodicals prematurely broke the story of his ‘big reveal.’ This forced ABC to show teases of the impending confront several weeks ahead of their intended schedule.

His moodiness and fear-of-loss mentality is seriously getting old – I think even for Ali. I (somewhat recently) dated someone who overanalyzed EVERYTHING, and it definitely paralyzed any progress the relationship could have possibly had.

Not everything is about you people.

If it’s not Frank who goes home willingly, I think Chris is the next to fall.

… and now for baby moose

Remember Me

I watched this tonight: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1403981/fullcredits#cast

And I gotta say it was sure refreshing to see Robert Pattinson play a brooding loner for a change.  That being said…

I really enjoyed this film.  Pierce Brosnan was so good.  His character, the father figure, probably hit a little close to home; but drew tears substantial enough to make it to the middle of my cheek.  Even without the ending, it was a very worthwhile film.  The ending however - will shake you.  I’d really like to delve into this; but it would definitely spoil the film. 

Embrace life, embrace love, don’t let fear hold you back.  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you should watch this movie.