I’m never drinking (coffee) again

So I came home around 9:30 after meeting a friend for dinner, and made myself a blended coffee drink; before heading out to see a local band play. The construction of this coffee concoction was as per Trader Joe’s Fearless Flyer’s suggestion:

“Trader Joe’s Lactose Free Coffee Creamers come in three flavors: Original, Vanilla and Hazelnut… Delicious in hot or cold coffee, you’re limited only by your imagination – we like mixing Hazelnut and Vanilla in a blender with coffee and ice… instant frappe!”

The coffee was okay to drink, but incredibly effective at administering its caffeine to my central nervous system. How do I know this? Well I’m writing this at 5:45 in the morning, with absolutely no prospect of sleep in my future. I’ve never tried Meth, but I’m pretty sure this is what it feels like. After lying sleepless in bed for the last five hours, I declared uncle on a good night’s sleep and got up. Thank you Trader Joe’s.

Top 10 things you can do with self-inflicted insomnia:

1. start a fight club
2. write in your self serving blog
3. a second job at Denny’s making Oreo Milkshakes for tweakers
4. commit the repeating carousel of SportsCenter to rote memory
   
5. 
   invent a new way to blow-it-up when giving someone ‘the rock’
6. watch infomercials for Zumba fitness videos (watch for the guy in the back in the blue tank top – he’s completely lost)
7. reflect on why I was contacted yesterday by two different people who I hadn’t spoke to in over 10 years (might write about this one)
8. in 15 minutes start watching pre-game NFL show (jeeze)
9. learn how to make coq au vin – thank you Danny Boome I think I’ll give it a try
10. Stare bitterly at the ceiling